June 9, 2015
That time of the year is here. You counted down the days until you didn’t have to pretend to spend time in the library (when all you really did was socialize in the café area). You swore you would work on your self-respect this summer and finally stop hooking up with that loser whose only summer goal should be getting rid of that dad bod.
Well, after a week of staring at the walls of your cubicle, wondering if marrying rich was really the only easy way to happiness, you’d do anything to go back to only going to class for the Clicker questions and crawling into your roommate’s bed every Saturday morning to discuss your latest regrettable choices.
Your dad told you getting your shit together is necessary and you spent around $1,000 on a new office wardrobe so it’s time to be a real fucking adult and work 40 hours a week. Unless you’re betchy enough to negotiate having Fridays off because everyone knows if you’re not in the Hamptons by Thursday night you might as well just accept being irrelevant.
Here’s how to not claw your eyes out when your boss gives you some vague to-do list. How the fuck am I supposed to work on expanding the company’s brand in the market when I don’t even know what product we sell?