August 5, 2015
Betches don’t go to the gym to actually do work so much as they go to pretend to do work and judge others/listen to Aoki remixes. Because people seem to like really care about who does and doesn’t wear makeup the gym, here’s a breakdown of how to be low key about it but still look totally bangable in case you meet your future FWB on the elliptical (lol, just kidding, never fuck a bro who uses the elliptical).
No one wants to see 8 layers of foundation dripping down your face on the stair master next to them. Like way to call attention the fact that your skin is less than perfect? It’s a total fucking rookie move and soon everyone will catch on to the fact that you don’t know what you’re doing there and they will all scream "She doesn’t even go here!" Then a bucket of pig’s blood will fall on your head and you’ll go ape shit with your new found telekinetic powers and it will just be a total fucking disaster.
Don’t want that for you, so here’s what you should do instead: Prime your face with a primer that has neutralizing and illuminating properties, like the Skin Calming Face Primer by Colorescience. Then opt for a BB cream or tinted moisturizer instead of foundation. If you’re actually there to do an average amount of work and there’s a chance you’ll perspire, set your makeup with a translucent powder. Rimmel’s Long Lasting Matte Translucent powder is pretty much gold for this because it's barely detectable.
First, cool it on the fucking cat eye and liquid liner. Loose that shit and try a dark brown mascara and dark brown liner instead. To make your lashes look naturally fuller, line the rim of your upper waterline with the liner. Also, I’m embarrassed that I even have to point this out because it’s so obvious, but get yourself some goddamn waterproof eye makeup. It’s like seriously easy to find and will save you the humiliation of looking anything close to Taylor Momsen.
Side bar: don’t neglect your brows, but don’t color them in with crayon either. Benefit’s Gimme Bro is the perfect option for the gym because it’s a fiber gel that just adds on to your brows, without making them look too done.
Lightly dab a cheek stain on the apples of your cheeks so you don't look dead but also so you don't look like a try hard. Tarte makes a fab twist up stain that basically lasts forevz and comes in a bunch of dope colors. For your lips, a tinted balm like Petunia from Burt's Bees looks super effortless and gorge on most skin tones, so throw that shit on and call it a day.