October 3, 2014
Every betch has her fair share of haters, and at some point in a betch’s life she has to deal with people talking shit about her. I mean after all that shit talking it’s bound to come back to her. The circle of shit-talking: it’s a wheel of fortune. It’s a leap of faith. It’s a band of…people who like talking shit about other people. Idk.
Anywho, where was I. Betches are no stranger to hearing less-than-pleasant shit about them, and being called crazy is up there on the list of “things butthurt neckbeards and nice girls often say about us.” For some girls being called crazy is more offensive than the word “cunt” but if you’re a betch you know it’s nbd because as much as you might try to hide it, every betch has some crazy in her. How you respond all depends on the circumstances and the type of crazy you’re called.
If you aren’t called crazy sometime during your college career, you’re doing it wrong. That’s because no completely sane person would spend four years of their life blackout more of the time than not. This type of crazy is a compliment. Take it, then take another shot.
Sometimes, a guy will call you crazy because you threw his phone out the window because you saw him texting a girl named Cheryl, who turned out to be his sister. Other times, it will be because you demonstrated independence or had the audacity to tell him he’s not a God at giving oral. In this case, we’re talking about those other times. Again, keep doing you and just be thankful for the fact that unlike some people (cough) you’ve actually matured emotionally past the age of 13.
Real talk, we all have that friend (or maybe you are that friend) who’s always crying. Like one wrong puppy pic will send her over the edge, even when she’s not on her period. If your eyeliner is constantly running, you should probably try to get your shit together. Like everyone has their moments but if you’re like constantly PMS-ing you need to figure some things out. You could start by going off birth control.
Whether she’s posting incorrectly attributed Marilyn Monroe quotes to her Facebook or getting arrested, she is the token train wreck of your friend group. If I just described you, I’d say you can ride the crazy train out for a while, depending on your age. But at some point even the craziest of betches have to make a public spectacle of cleaning up their act—even Lindsay, though we’re still waiting for that day to come. Don’t be a Lindsay. Do it sooner rather than later.
At the end of the day, if someone calls you crazy, just brush it off like you're Jay Z and you've got dirt on your shoulder. You know what Marilyn Monroe (maybe) said: "Sane girls rarely make history."