May 9, 2013
To execute the perfect toddler TBT, you should either be Anne-Geddes-baby adorable, be clothed in an ironically chic outfit like a lamp over your head, or showing everyone the time you had a bob. The more siblings, and the more embarassing for them, the better. Pigtails are always worthy of a like. Overalls = a like and a comment. Finally, a note to all the people who think baby pictures + Thursday = child pornography on the internet is okay: It's not, no matter how cute your rubber duck was or how toned your ass was as an infant.
Vaca TBTs are a risky business, mostly because it's rude to ask people to give a shit 2.0 about your vacation which they probs never gave a shit about to begin with, and they were only liking your insta so you would like theirs in the future. But we digress. Anyway, when it comes to the throwback vaca, it's all about timing. For example if it's the anniversary of Spring Break or your trip to Vegas. Also in some rare instances if you were away just a week ago and your vaca was REALLY sick, you're permitted to do a TSBT (too-soon TBT, fucking duh).
Unlike with awkward stage middle school pics, there's no reason on Betches' green earth why you should ever look ugly in your TBTs of high school and college. These were the days of iPhoto retouch and color boost, you have no excuse for choosing a pic where you and/or your besties look like shit. Appropriate occasions for this category of TBT include: homecoming, #3 abroad, #11 tailgates, themed parties (#ceosandcorporatehoes #ninthgrade), #45 graduation, that time you got kicked out of #40 formal, etc.
Sometimes your instagram followers will have the good luck that one of your bestie's birthdays lands on a Thursday, for which it's necessary to honor her with a birthday throwback instacollage. Your collage might contain anywhere from 4-40 photos and will include you dressed up in costumes, hugging each other, tanning on beaches, selfies with kissy faces, selfies with your tongues out, linking arms while drinking wine, etc. Every betch knows if you don't spend at least an hour and have at least 300 photos to choose from while arranging this mosaic then you've failed as a bestie and human.
In general, the most important rule of thumb for TBTs is that they should be used in moderation. We're talking once a month, twice maybe. No one wants to look at your fucking three year old face or you and your besties dressing like high school sluts every goddamn week. While the occasional TBT is ironic and funny, too much is just a red flag to your followers that you've finally realized that you peaked in high school.
Cause you don't wanna miss a thing