October 1, 2014
Certain people's betchyness isn't debatable like Beyonce's and Ja'mie King's. Sometimes people, like Gwyneth Paltrow, have betchy qualities, like being a 'food writer' who barely eats. But then she also has unbetchy qualities, like being a hippie and regularly not wearing a bra. Is she a betch? Can you be a half-betch? These are serious questions that people like Gwyneth bring up.
First off, her name is Gwyneth. That is incredibly unbetchy and she should have addressed that early on. Lucy Hale was born a Karen and corrected her parents' poor judgement. Gwen didn't. Plus Gwyneth was in that strange movie Shallow Hal with Jack Black where she played herself but also an obese version of herself. Not betchy.
On the other hand, Gwyneth has won an Oscar, and then retired to be a full-time mother/blogger. She's dated Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck and then married Chris Martin and he wrote a bunch of songs about her and then they moved to Europe. Betchy.
We already know she doesn't wear make up, and sometimes that's okay, but sometimes it isn't. Does she shave? What other tasks of personal maintenance is she not doing?
Gwen is the ultimate half betch.Half hippie, half diva. Her company includes Kate Hudson and Drew Barrymore and we're not sure how to feel about it.