July 21, 2015
In case you've managed to block it from your memory, in 2013, Miley Cyrus infamously "twerked" (loose term) on a then-married, pre-lawsuit Robin Thicke. Ah the good old days of summer 2013, when "Blurred Lines" was just a song about rape. Robin looked like a pedophilic referee, and Miley wore her hair nubbins and giant foam finger. It was the best of times, it was the literal worst of times.
After Miley performed "We Can't Stop" with giant stuffed bears and Rihanna was appropriately disgusted, the Internet lost its shit. Seriously, people had no chill for Miley's one-way ticket on the hot mess express. I can't remember how to do long division, but I remember every character of the Twitter rants.
Anyways, Miley is back for the VMA's in August with her armpit hair and nipple pasties. I'm imagining the whole thing will be reminiscent of Napoleon Dynamite's dance routine. We can only hope that Hannah Montana makes an appearance..