June 5, 2014
I've been talking to this new guy and he seemed completely perfect for me. We get along really well, have a lot in common, and have the same sarcastic sense of humor. OH...and he cooks and speaks french. That's husband material am I right?
So then he revealed to me that he's a submissive and he likes to be dominated. I thought I was a freak in the bedroom, but DEFINITELY not like he is. Should I still go for it or is this an inescapable red flag?
To Kink Or Not To Kink
Dear To Kink Or Not To Kink,
Everyone has a different idea of what's a red flag versus a dealbreaker. It all depends on what you're comfortable with. For instance, I'm sure Tim Tebow's idea of kinky in the bedroom is having sex with your bra off while Russell Brand's probably include some frightening props. There's nothing wrong with having sexual kinks and fantasies, it's just a matter of deciding if that person's sexual preferences align with yours.
Wanting to be dominated in the bedroom doesn't sound like a dealbreaker if all else is going really well, but it really depends on you and what you're comfortable doing sexually. If you don't mind stepping out of your comfort zone, try it out and see if you don't hate it. If you're weirded out by the whole thing tell him. If he stresses it or says it's really important to him, you're clearly not as compatible as you thought you were. Time to move on and find someone you mesh better with.