September 9, 2013
Dear Head Pro,
I'm 21 and currently interested in a guy that's 28. He says I'm great and that he'd go after me but the fact that I'm "almost 10 years younger than him" is stopping him. Therefore my question is, do I have a chance to convince him otherwise or am I being delusional? And, how big an age difference is acceptable?
Too Young To Handle
Dear Too Young,
Yo, that shit is an (admittedly confusing) excuse. As a fellow bro in the twilight of his 20’s, I can tell you that there’s no good reason to have reservations about at least boffing a hot 21 year old, unless you just don’t like them (or they aren’t that hot). Now, dating is different. It’s unlikely that the two of you have much in common, as you’re probably still in or just out of college. If I was dating someone and our social calendar revolved around college parties, it’d be fun for about a week, and then I’d kill myself.
Dear Head Pro,
I fucked up. Bad. I was on a bunch of painkillers and narcotics from a surgery this past week and over the weekend called and texted my ex like a nutcase, literally like a fucking psycho. He was telling me he wanted to try and get back together, and now due to my actions he is saying I completely blew it. And the worse part is, is that I'm completely out of his league. How do I get or even maintain my dignity at this point?
I tried the mature thing and apologized with no luck. And even though this guy has played mind games with me over and over again, saying how he wants to be with me and only me and then flipping out and running the next moment, I would honestly take him back.But right now I want revenge. So what hurts a guy worse? Knowing a girl is still pining pathetically over him or simply ignoring the situation all together? I think I know the answer really, but I need to hear it from the lordliest of pros. How can I maintain if/if any dignity in this situation and hit him where it hurts?
Painkilled and Pathetic
Wow, this is fucked up. In what way are you out of his league, besides maybe looks? He plays mind games with you, you text him something crazy, he tells you to fuck off, and you’d STILL take him back? I think that puts you pretty squarely in his “league.” And, despite wanting to take him back, for the moment you want “revenge?” Something tells me your painkillers aren’t the only source of your psychosis.
Neither of your “revenge” tactics make any sense. He already knows you’re pining for him; you told him as much and he didn’t care. Ignoring him wouldn’t do anything, because that’s what he wants. For you, trying to “reclaim” your dignity would be like trying to “reclaim” the fountain of youth in that it never existed. Your best bet is to pretend this never happened and move on.
Dear Head Pro,
My friend and I have a problem. We’ve never had boyfriends- that’s not the problem, AT ALL. Neither of us are all that into long term relationships (for the time being), and we are 100% okay with that. Actually, we’re having a blast being single in college. Unfortunately, our friends aren’t understanding. They’re convinced that we’re simply “too fucked up” or “too uncaring” to jump on the whole relationship train, but really we just prefer a type of transportation that’s a little more fun (i.e. random nights in random rooms… ps we don’t have STDs…) This basically resulted in our decision to create “the boyfriend pact”. We want to prove that we CAN have boyfriends but we CHOOSE not to. So we have a master plan: This semester we will get real life boyfriends (thank you for the inspiration, Taylor Swift). There are, however, guidelines and exact procedures that need to be followed (yes, we acknowledge how romantic this sounds- we’re practically Nicholas fucking Sparks over here). We will only date them for a month, but during that month we will be 100% committed (facebook- fucking- official), go on double dates, hold hands, spoon, and all those other scenes from The Notebook. All is feasible until that point. Step 2, is to dump them. Like I said, were not “boyfriend” people but we’d also like to think were not SHITTY people. Does this plan make us malicious people?
The (maybe) malicious masterminds
This is seriously the dumbest shit I have ever read. Getting essentially fake boyfriends to prove that you can is like a virgin masturbating to orgasm in order to prove that he’s capable of sex. It doesn’t actually prove anything. The clinical sterility essentially renders the point of the whole thing as null and void. Actively deciding to acquire a boyfriend is just as bad as actively avoiding one. If you don’t want boyfriends, then don’t fucking have them, but maybe also try being normal people who don’t plan out the minutiae of your lives and just roll with the punches. Also, NEVER look to Taylor Swift for inspiration.