January 13, 2015
Talking shit about Taylor Swift has been a clear move for betches ever since like, 10th grade. Her lyrics are super whiny and desperate, she’s the poster face for delusional daters, and her hair is mouse brown. Like get some highlights, Taylor, you look like one of your 12-year-old fans.
But ever since her 1989 album dropped, there’s been a lot of confusion for betches about how they should feel about her. At first, things were clear. “Shake It Off” sounded like something you’d hear on Disney Radio and it brought back memories of Gwen Stafani’s banana song. At least that song taught betches a spelling word.
Then, the “Blank Space” music video was released. Out loud you were like “wow, she is such a maniac.” But secretly, you were kind of into it. You have to at least respect a delusional dater who is that self-aware. Plus, taking shots with your betches to that beat just makes the vodka taste better.
After that, Taylor Swift looked almost as skinny as the models at the Victoria Secret fashion show. Deep inside you had this strong but shameful feeling that you kind of liked her. Then there was that time you had an intense, uncontrollable urge to stream “Style” and you were literally distraught when you couldn’t find it online for free. Just before you googled if Limewire still exists you told yourself ‘fuck it’ and LITERALLY BOUGHT HER CD.
Considering you claim to not even like the chick, this is the first CD you’ve purchased in six years. Things aren’t matching up here. You’re not alone if you don’t know how to feel about yourself.
So, is it socially acceptable to like Taylor Swift now? For betches, it all really depends.
It’s definitely okay to blast a T Swift song during an all-girl pregame; especially if you laugh with your betch next to you that you’re “actually listening to Taylor Swift right now.” It may be okay to listen to her new music when you’re alone in your car, but the second you find any lyric off of her Red album relatable you need to turn it the fuck off and seek medical attention right away. It’s never okay to listen to Taylor Swift in the company of pros, or to make any large-scale public commitment to her, like attending one of her shows or following her on Instagram.
So basically, it’s sometimes okay to listen to Taylor Swift. Just be careful. We all learned in JOUR 1001 that the media is influential. The last thing you want is to find yourself bawling over a dude you thought you dated but really just fucked a few times, all because Taylor told you he mattered.