Is It Weird That I Want To Have Sex More Than My Boyfriend? Ask A Pro

By The Head Pro

Got a question about life, love, sex or snapchat? Email Head Pro at [email protected]

Dear Head Pro,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I lost my virginity to him and ever since then I've been sex crazed, I want to have sex more than he does. In the summer, we used to have sex 5 times a week and now that we're both in school the sex has decreased. I'm very attracted to him because he's so hot and I want to have sex with him constantly. I brought this up to him and he said I just don't want to have sex 80 times in a row plus I know it hurts you at some point. My question is, how much sex is enough? Do I need to be worried? Is this normal? How can I make him attracted to me again?


Sex Maniac

Dear Sex Maniac,

Ok, chill. First of all, you sound really cool and you should hit me up if you and your boyfriend ever have trouble in paradise. Secondly, there’s no such thing as “enough,” or a “normal amount” of sex, objectively speaking - everyone’s different. As relationships (and life in general) wear on, it’s normal for sex to decrease in frequency a bit. Other things take priority, and you eventually shed those lustful, intense love feelings and replace them with, y’know, deeper, genuine love. I promise that it has nothing to do with how attractive he finds you - if you were hot enough to fuck for the past year, you probably still are.

Of course, that doesn’t solve your problem of not getting enough of the deep penis. One possibility is that your raging sex drive might make him feel as though the relationship is a little one-dimensional. Think about it: You popped your cherries, and now all of a sudden that’s all you want to do - believe it or not, men are also capable of feeling as though they’re being used. The constant pressure without getting to the root of his hesitance might also make him feel emasculated (as in, he doesn’t feel “man” enough for you), which is the quickest way to send a guy from midnight to 6:00.

While it’s obviously not right for him to leave you wanting all the time, you also have to respect him and his body if it turns out his sex drive really is lower. I would have an adult conversation with him and assure him that you want to have sex so much because it’s HIM, not because you want sex in general. Make it known that the relationship as a whole is what’s important to you, and then see if you can’t work out some kind of compromise so that no one feels pressured or unfulfilled.

Nympho Kisses,

Head Pro


Hi Head Pro,

My boyfriend and I recently went long distance because we couldn't get jobs in the same city. We're still seeing each other most weekends (which to be fair is only from about midnight Friday to noon Sunday), so as far as long distance goes, I think we're luckier than a lot of people. We're planning on moving back together in a year. My boyfriend isn't taking the distance very well. He's sad a lot, and sometimes jealous (the sad, 'I know this is idiotic' kind, not the controlling mean kind), and doesn't seem to really believe we'll be back together in a year - he sometimes seems to think he has to stay at his current job for longer than a year, something about how it took him a long time to find a job, and that one can't quit a job so early. I don't know what I can do to help him out. He says he trusts me, and I hope he does - I definitely trust myself around other guys - and I know it's easy to be jealous even when you know it's stupid, so I don't think it has to mean he doesn't trust me, but I must be able to help. Anyway, besides jealousy, I think he's just really sad, and sees a year as being an incredibly long time. I can't stand him being unhappy like this. What can I do?

Actually I wrote to you a month ago trying to decide whether to do the distance hey remember me,

Hercules, because I was completely wrong about Go the Distance being a song from Mulan.

Dear Get Your Disney Shit Straight,

Ah, you again. What you’re experiencing are the growing pains of a LDR, which is why most of them don’t last very long. Unfortunately, it’s mostly on him to sack up, get out of his funk and get on with life until you two can work out a better arrangement. I agree that he sounds generally sad. I recall in your last email, he sounded kind of mopey and down in the dumps about not finding a job, being apart, etc. Ask yourself - do you really want hitch your wagon to such a wet blanket? Anyhow, here are some things you can do to maybe help cheer him up:

Get involved with his friends: I know when you visit, you want to make the most of your time together. That’s understandable, but you aren’t teenagers who feel compelled to fuck like rabbits all the time. Meet and hang out with his friends so that even when you’re gone, he (and they) have a feeling of you two as a couple. You can even get involved in a regular email thread/group text to stay involved even when you’re apart.

Encourage him to have a life: There’s nothing worse for a lonely heart than sitting around and stewing about your loneliness. He needs to get out there and find hobbies and have a life in general, which ought to help with the jealousy.

Try to force some perspective on him: Easier said than done, but a year is really not all that long. Plus, time moves faster the older you get. It’s already December.

Don’t pressure him with a deadline: You probably aren’t, but it sounds like at least he’s putting pressure on himself. He doesn’t have to necessarily be moved in with you and working a new job precisely at the one-year mark. Maybe he starts looking, and after he’s had his annual review he looks more in earnest. If he moans about that still being too soon, remind him that “I wanted to gain some experience, but now my girlfriend and I would like to start a life together in this city” is a perfectly reasonable thing to tell an employer when they ask why he’s trying to leave his job.

That’s all I got. In the end, you can’t “make” someone happier, but you can do your best to help encourage him through it. Otherwise, this is just the shit you deal with in an LDR.

Transcontinental Kisses,

Head Pro


Dear Head Pro,

I don't want kids.  It's a huge deal breaker when I start hanging out with a guy I like and find out he really wants children some day.  My first question for you is: Where in the world do I find like minded people who want (or don't want rather) the same thing as me? You'd think it'd be a breeze finding a guy who doesn't want that responsibility, but surprisingly most guys want to be a dad some day (gross, right?). I briefly tried the online thing and it's just not for me. I'm 26, so I feel like it's a reasonable thing to discuss with potential partners, since I'm getting over my crazy party years and might be ready to slow down and settle down (gag me). This leads me to my next question: When do I bring this deal breaker up? I certainly don't want to blurt out my lack of desire to reproduce immediately, but I also don't want to waste my time (and his).

Thanks in advance,

Anti-baby Betch

Dear Anti-baby Betch,

I mean, there’s no secret place for finding guys who are so similarly staunchly anti-procreation, what with it being our biological imperative and all. Online dating would have been one suggestion (since the kids/no kids thing is usually a question you have to answer), but you tried that and don’t like it, which is fine. The issue of children is a delicate one, mostly because people are fluid, complicated animals. Many people say they want kids and later decide they don’t, while others say they don’t and then decide they do. Of course, there are also many people who make a decision about kids and never waiver. It also depends on the people you’re with - one person may inspire you to procreate, while another that you love just as much may not have the same effect. People are weird.

Knowing that, it would be silly to base your dating prospects on it, and I don’t think it’s something you need to bring up too early. In an ideal (but unlikely) world, you only ever get married once - so to say that dating every other guy who wanted kids was “wasting their time” kind of undermines the value of the relationship in and of itself. Making an issue of it too soon makes it sound like you’re actively pursuing some weird, settled-but-childless agenda, so I would wait until this hypothetical relationship shows sign of moving from “we’re a serious couple” to “this might be it” territory: You know, moving in together, engagement, or even just discussing the possibility of those things (though the topic will likely come up before that).

You might hit friction if you learn that you’re not on the same page, but that’s kind of the point - your relationship and the future you plan ought to be more about the person you’re with than the kids you haven’t had yet (or won’t have at all).

Fertile Kisses,

Head Pro

Dear Head Pro,

I’m not sure if this is even a legitimate question, but why do my exes look at my snapchat stories? Like, I know it’s dumb of me to ponder something so insignificant, but I really can’t understand why these guys who want nothing to do with me take the time to watch my stories—or why they even still have me added.

I’m thinking of two exes specifically, one I haven’t talked to in over a year, and the other is more recent and we talk briefly if we see each other at school. The only similarity between both relationships is that they were pretty serious, and that might be significant since other guys who I wasn’t as serious with never look at my stories.

Personally, I don’t care to know what my exes are up to, so I don’t have them added, and if I did, I still wouldn’t watch their stories. Please tell me if I’m psycho for wondering about something that they probably do without giving any thought to or if there are any actual reasons you could think of for looking at someone’s snapchat story when you don’t have the slightest interest in their life.


Clearly going places with the questions I have

Dear Going Places,

Ok, let’s be real - if you had your exes added on Snapchat, the world’s premier titty messaging service, you’d look at their stories. You know damn well you would. It’s human nature. When we see pictures of people we know, we’re compelled to look. That goes double if we shared a deep emotional and/or penile connection with them. There’s really no other explanation as to why they look at them - you were a significant part of their lives, and the pictures are there. That, and they’re probably checking to see if you mistakenly left some sweet noodz in there. I question using any kind of social media that alerts people when I’m creeping on them, but I was still a student when my college got Facebook so what do I know?

Temporary Kisses,

Head Pro

Got a question about life, love, sex or snapchat? Email Head Pro at [email protected]




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