April 24, 2013
Is it betchy to smoke cigarettes? It's a question we've been asked dozens of times and we've never addressed because much like our attitude about most things, we don't really care what you do. Because that would mean taking a break from thinking about ourselves.
But to bring back our We The Betches column we decided to examine this question posed by a fan as well as some of the key responses from the Betch community.
Cigarettes are definitely bad for you. We're slowly learning that from Mad Men and the giant SMOKING KILLS wrapping paper they now use for cigarettes.
Other things that are bad for you include blacking out every day, doing drugs, taking your friends' prescriptions in random combinations, eating, not eating, eating high fructose corn syrup, and so on. According to billionaire bro Mike Bloomberg even drinking over 36 ounces of soda will kill you. Maybe he has a point, because our smart friend who's going to be a doctor told us that obesity illnesses kill more people than cigarettes do. She also reminded us that the obese people are in middle America therefore we've never seen them except maybe on TLC but the lesson is clear: being alive will kill you so if you want to be buried with a tube in your throat like the people in the commercials, you have every right to do so, while looking down on fat people.
Besides dying, the particular downside to cigarettes is that they make you smell like shit and are generally considered the devil. But since betches don't care what people think, she will do what she wants. The main thing is not to judge people who are smokers, as gross as it may be. Even betches who will dabble in a drunk cig know that cigarette smoke is the most disgusting smell in the world, unless she of course is smoking too. But our main point is that smoking can't be considered betchy or unbetchy - as usual it's all about how you do it.
This commenter named 'quit' is clearly acknowledging that smoking is bad but says social smoking is okay. We're not doctors but we're pretty sure insane binge drinking, or worse, excessive stress from going to work and being sedentary all day will more likely kill you than social smoking in college and your twenties. She gets it. 'Quit' is so a girl we would meet outside a bar and try to bum cigarettes off bros with. But only in NYC.
This commenter also gets the point about smoking when you're fucking hammered, but her thing about menthol and hookah is pointless. Yes menthols are ghetto, but when do you even get close enough to see someone smoking one? Who cares. On the other hand hookah is eccentric and gives you a chance to talk about the chic hookahs you smoked while #3 abroad in Tel Aviv or at a seven star hotel in Dubai.
Then you have these people whose opinion of smoking hinges on your brand of cigarette.
LOL. Not only does this define TTH for anyone who's confused on the precise definition, but these rants about cigarette brands kill us. Moral of the story: if you judge people on what brand they smoke, you are not elite, you are too knowledgeable about cigarettes and we have a feeling a million showers couldn't wash away the ashtray stench. And please never ever call them bogies, that just screams to the world you're Canadian or your dad is in construction.