Okay, like, I know superheroes are like totally overdone and Comic-Con is disgusting but Marvel’s deal with Netflix is actually good. Yeah so on the surface, one might be tempted to ignore Marvel’s Jessica Jones because it’s some geek shit and if we’re gonna binge something, it probably won’t be one of the 1748 things that Marvel is pushing out on a daily basis. After some convincing, we took a look at the first episode, and it was actually fucking good.
1. Jessica Jones is more police procedural with a bitchy detective than it is superhero show. Like, JJ tried being one for a minute but then decided to become a dark and edgy private eye who can like drink way more than normal people.
2. That brings us to the next point, the reason she can down a shit load of alcohol is because of a car accident that gave her superpowers, so think Alex Mac if she grew up, moved to Hell’s Kitchen and started drinking herself to sleep. The powers are used sparingly on screen, like, you almost forget she has them until she nonchalantly breaks a chain because for some reason doors always have fucking chains on them in movies and TV shows.
3. Jessica is a sassy ass betch played by Kristin Ritter, of Don’t Trust the B fame and also the best friend in that horrendous yet amazing Confessions of a Shopaholic movie. She pretty much deconstructs and shits on the tropes of the superhero genre at every turn and casually throws shade at people while like, lifting cars. It’s nice to have a betch to comment on genre fatigue for us so we don’t ever have to use phrases like genre fatigue.
4. The show straddles all the mufuckin genres. No not actually all of them, but it’s like noir and crime and drama and comedy with some comic book stuff thrown in for good measure.
5. The whole storyline is like Law & Order: SVU x Batman - capes + drinking + drugs divided by thirteen bingeable Netflix episodes.
6. The other characters are written well also. Killgrave, the show’s villain, is creepy as fuck but like you can sort of get behind him because he’s endearing and damaged and he can’t help it that he’s so popular because he can control people with his mind and force them to like him. The whole situation of him essentially raping (their choice of words, not ours) Jessica with his powers is like the backbone of the series and drives the show forward.
7. Trish, JJ’s bff, is so betchy it hurts. She’s a former child star who’s crazy ass momager adopted Jessica for publicity when she was younger. She has a dope apartment with a gym, a safe room and bullet proof windows because she has the most listened to radio show in Manhattan so apparently radio fans are like really committed I guess? Whatever, she’s chill.
8. Luke Cage, a bartender with unbreakable skin, is a beautiful chocolate man. Netflix doesn’t shy away from realistic sex scenes, and from the minute Luke meets Jessica, they let us know they love to fuck. It’s not even like pathetic and slutty, it just fucking works.
9. Arguably, one of the best subplots is the whole lesbian love triangle divorce shit show between Jessica’s lawyer friend and her lawyer friend’s doctor ex- wife. This lawyer betch is chic af and so unbelievably cold that you’re just like holy shit, mom is that you? Props to Netflix and Marvel for giving the lesbians a realistic-ish storyline that isn’t totally just there for diversity points.
10. The sort of street-level pocket of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is a lot grittier than the sort of flashy explosiony fighty shit that nerds like. Jessica Jones connects to Daredevil (actually good tbh), both will connect to the upcoming Luke Cage which will connect to Iron Fist (Ryan Philippe is rumored to be in talks for that role) and they will all team up in Defenders.
THAT ANNOYING NICEGIRL TURNED BSCB ROBYN, EW GO AWAY, DIE PLEASE.