December 23, 2014
In case the weird people you went to high school with haven't flooded your newsfeed about the new Harry Potter stories, breaking news: JK Rowling doesn't understand why girls like Draco Malfoy. She's confused because he's basically a raging douchelord, but girls everywhere are in love with him. We the betches decided to explain it to her:
1. He's a member of the lucky sperm club. His dad like invented toaster strudel or some shit so they're rich as fuck. They basically live in the Downton Abbey house.
2. He's a total SAB. Tbh, he and Hermione were definitely hooking up, but didn't want anybody to know because he's like the John Tucker of Hogwarts.
3. He's an athlete. I still don't really get Quidditch, except that all of the hot characters play it in the movies.
4. Tom Felton