January 23, 2014
I woke up this morning to the news that Justin Bieber has finally been arrested. This is nearly as shocking as hearing my friend who gave her boyfriend an ultimatum to propose is finally engaged.
The Biebs was arrested in Miami after a night of clubbing for a DUI, drag racing, and then for resisting arrest. Because once you're already getting arrested you might as well throw in some resistance for good measure. I mean, if he didn't resist, it would basically be like he was admitting to driving while drunk and on mad pills and then drag racing. Innocent until proven guilty, duh.
Here is his just-released mug shot where he looks like he's definitely high on something. The anti-depressants have clearly kicked in. Like WHY does he look so genuinely happy? He literally looks like he's thinking FINALLY, I'VE MADE IT!
Justin was apparently in the car with a model Chantel Jeffries (who he's obviously hooking up with but we have to say he's allegedly hooking up with bc like, slander), and his drag racing opponent Khalil was also arrested for drag racing. Where will the casualties stop?
I really can't wait to find out how many minutes he spent in jail. And which jail he was in. Because a Miami county does NOT seem like a hospitable location for a pop star with the street cred of the Biebs. But most importantly, I want to know why he doesn't just take a fucking car service.