August 27, 2014
"If I was your boyfriend Id take you on a shitty date to Dave and Busters and flip the fuck out on an 11 year old with a flip phone."
So Justin Bieber is getting sued for assaulting a fan at Dave and busters with Selena Gomez. Let's break that sentence down. Selena Gomez agreed to go on date with Justin Bieber, because that worked well the first time. They went to Dave and Busters like they're 12 and she just got paid for babysitting her next door neighbor. Justin then allegedly "lunged" at a fan. Did the kid get too close to your game tokens so you whipped out your shitty Believe tour choreography?
Bieb's security realized this was serious shit because Justin's already on fucking parole. Idk how the legal system works in Canada, but here in the US of A, it's pretty much a really fucking stupid idea to assault somebody after being convicted of egging somebody's house. So the security guards threw him in the hummer while Selena bitched about his shenanigans to the BFF Taylor Swift. You done goofed Justin, pull your life together boo.