January 16, 2014
If you've been following us on instagram, you already know we find the whole Justin Bieber egging "scandal" to be totally fucking ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the fact that Justin Bieber would go to the trouble to egg someone's house in the first place.
Apparently this egging debacle is a big deal to some, and we happen to agree with them, but for a totally different reason. Yes, it is a HUGE deal that a celebrity is actually getting in trouble for doing something wrong that they normally could get away with that a regular person couldn't.
Anyway, the cops got a warrant to search his house (for grade A organic eggs to match the crime scene, fucking duh) and they took Justin's phone. Now he's freaking out because
he can't instagram the cops might find naked pictures and scandalous texts (unrelated to the egging incident that he had nothing to do with), and maybe the cops would sell them to the press or they would get leaked "by accident" or something. Who does he think he is, Lindsay Lohan? And why do I have a feeling that Justin is only worried about the cops finding that one conversation with numerous texts to his drug dealer: Hey u around? Hey u around? Hey u around?
But like actually, what is he worried about? He walks around shirtless and cocky as fuck, so what is he really worried about a little naked scandal for? Unless it's pics of naked girls, or crazy sex shit, or giant orgies full of Disney stars, or his very small penis. It could really be any or all of those things. I hope all.