February 11, 2015
This year marked one of the most uneventful Grammy's of all time. Miley wore actual clothes and wasn't frying on acid, Lady Gaga didn't bobby-pin cold cuts to her head, and Taylor didn't have Top Ramen hair...so like did a music award ceremony even happen? However, we can always count on our favorite resting bitch face, Kanye, to liven things up. God forbid someone actually accept an award in fucking peace, Yeezy stayed true to form and made an attempt to intercept the microphone from Beck after just receiving Album of the Year. I'm not entirely sure who Beck is, but he dresses like a lesbian and beat out Sam Smith, so not a huge fan at this point.
Unlike the infamous "Imma let you finish BUT..." he blessed Taylor with in 2009, Kanye opted to show the world that he's totally turned a new leaf by only being, like, half of a dick and aborting mission. He proved that a simple gesture can speak a thousand words, words like "I've changed, but not that fucking much."
We're all for taking a page out of the Betch handbook and pulling a passive aggressive power move, just not in the most extreme, public way possible. Had he gotten any further onto the stage I'm pretty sure he would have thrown a casual "LOL Beck, got you!" and then whispered in his ear that the Beygancy was waiting outside for him. On that note, why is it not protocol to have a Kanye-proof gate blocking the stage?
Instead he waited until his interview to talk shit about Beck and the Academy for not "respecting artistry." Very classy. If Kanye’s favorite person is Kanye, this might solidify Bey’s runner-up title.
After 18 long hours of awaiting Beck's heated reply, he finally stepped out of his flannel-ridden closet to say: “I was just so excited he was coming up. He deserves to be on stage as much as anybody. How many great records has he put out in the last five years right?” Reading between the lines here, but Beck is fucking terrified of the Illuminati coming after him.
“One time Kanye punched me in the face, it was awesome.” –Beck, probably.
If there's one reason I watch any awards show it’s to see what kind of shit Kanye will pull. Can we expect anything less from a man who has provided us with such great quotes such as, "not smiling makes me smile"? Nah.