January 13, 2014
Today in the lifestyles of the rich and egotistical, Kanye West beat up an 18-year-old outside of a chiropractor's office (nope, not kidding). According to
TMZ legend, Kim was being swarmed by papparazzi outside the office. As if she doesn't exist solely to be swarmed by papparazzi. Like if Kim were to fall in a forest and there were no papparazzi there to see it, was there ever a forest?
But I digress. To help her get away from the cameras, some kid opened the door to the office and said, "Fuck these fa**ot-ass n****rs" (referring to the papparazzi, not all the bros she's ever dated, if you were confused). Then Kim was all like, don't use the n-word, and the kid was all like, "Fuck you bitch. Just trying to help you. Shut up n****r lover, stupid slut." Then Kanye came and beat the child up in defense of his baby mama's honor. And now Kanye might get charged with battery and they all lived happily ever after.