September 24, 2015
If you have a moderate to slightly above average IQ level (which you obvs do, because fucking duh, you're here) than you've never purchased anything that the Kardashians have chosen to put their name on. From the tanning product called "Black Bronzer" (not fucking kidding) to their god awful line at Sears, it seems that everything the Kardashians touch turns to terrible. Just ask Ray J.
Apparently though, the Kardashians just won an Allure "Best of Beauty" award for this "3 in 1" hair straightener:
^Dafuq is this? It looks like something I'd buy at CVS from Revlon, except that it costs $90. Also, nothing you purchase for your hair should be able to do three things at once. You have a straightener and you have a curling iron (still unclear about what the third thing is???). Don't be so fucking greedy.
Allure attempted to explain, "The words "Kardashian" and "flat" rarely occur in the same sentence (Editor's note: unless you're talking about personality, but whatever), but none of the flatirons we tested achieved the sleek finish of the Kardashian Beauty 3-in-1 Hairstyling Iron."
OK, Allure, that's fine that you've decided to suck the Kardashian teet, but like why do you have to drag us down with you? Because according to reviews of the product, it's not very good. This shit only has a 3.1 rating on Ulta, and you know you should never fuck with anything under a 4.5.
So like, congrats on your award Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, etc., but as far as selling your products go, maybe you can try Sears? (Again.)