Karen's Boring Story About Love Life Released Straight to DVD

By Sabrina the Teenage Betch

After another weekend filled with PG hookups and unanswered texts, Karen is back with the next volume of her incredibly boring love saga. The sequel comes highly unanticipated based on her previous box office disasters, and has already been slammed by critics who call it “predictable,” “disturbingly uneventful,” and “the worst part of my day by far.” The story, in its twenty minute entirety, will be released straight to DVD.

Join Karen on an insufferable journey as she reenacts every excruciating detail of her Friday night, featuring all the same forgettable dudes as last weekend. They’re uninterested and average looking at best, but don’t let that fool you into thinking this is wrapping up anytime soon.

You’ll hear about Dave. Doug? Dan? Whatever. You’ll hear about some guy who she thought was flirting with her but then ended up leaving the bar with someone else. There’s Brian, who booty calls her at 1 AM when she’s already asleep, and Rob, who she hasn’t heard from in two months but is somehow relevant to this conversation. Finally, sit through 15 seconds of unedited silence when she asks the group why she can’t just find a nice guy who will take her out to dinner.

The DVD format is perfect for digesting this painfully slow tale, especially with its fast forward and muting features. Listen to her never-ending ramble about single life from the comfort of your own home, or not at all, because honestly Karen, no one even invited you.





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