Last night, the Earth shook on its axis when Karlie Kloss, the long-rumored paramour and former bestie of Taylor Swift, attended the final night of the Eras concert in Los Angeles.
While the star-studded finale included celebs like Emma Stone and Sydney Sweeney, Kloss was absent from the VIP tent. Instead, she sat humbly in the bleachers along with the general public.
Was Karlie attempting to extend an olive branch? Did she lose a bet with Gigi Hadid? Is she really good at compartmentalizing and is a genuine Swifite, massive feud aside?
Whatever her intentions, leaving your comfort zone and live updating your SO is a universal experience, so we took the liberty of imagining Karlie’s mostly one-sided convo with her husband Josh as she bravely ventured into Wonderland.
August 9, 5:02 PM
Karlie: INSTRUCTIONS FOR TAKING CARE OF OUR SHARED CHILD WHILE I’M AT THE ERAS CONCERT:
- Give baby to nanny
- Kiss baby goodnight
Karlie: I might not have great service at SoFi so if you have any questions just text my sister. DO NOT text Ivanka.
Josh: Thx babe. Have fun.
5:27 PM
Karlie: Ugh.
Karlie: The line for security is like, longer than my insanely bronzed supermodel legs.
Karlie: And I hate these clear bags.
Karlie: I’m a celebrity! I can’t have everyone knowing my business.
5:34 PM
Karlie: Should I tell my team to ask Tree if I should say hi?
Karlie: No. Too awkward.
5:55 PM
Karlie: Omg.
Karlie: The security guard confiscated my Louboutin lipstick.
Karlie: He thought it was so pointy it could be used as a shiv.
6:01 PM
Karlie: Babe, do you want anything from the merch stand?
Karlie: Apparently the ink fades after one wash.
Karlie: That’s so Taylor.
Karlie: She says she wants quality friends but can’t even make a quality crew neck.
Karlie: Whatever.
Karlie: I’m buying the collage tee.
6:17 PM
Karlie: Being part of GenPop is so embarrassing.
Karlie: I just had to ask the usher to help me find seat 342 F.
Karlie: TBH, I can’t even count that high.
Karlie: This is soooo she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers of me.
6:26 PM
Karlie: OMG.
Karlie: I see Emma Stone 🤩
Karlie: We loved her in Aloha!
Karlie: Do you think it’s cool if I go talk to her?
Karlie: We’re both the same level of A-list, right? So it’s not weird?
Josh: Yeah. It’s the unspoken, commensurate fame theorem.
Karlie thumbs ups the message.
6:31 PM
Karlie: Joshy.
Karlie: I’m gonna die.
Karlie: Security just escorted me away from the VIP tent.
Karlie: Abort. Abort. Abort.
Karlie: Should I just leave?
Karlie: I’m gonna leave.
6:33 PM
Karlie: I’m gonna stay.
Karlie: This nice girl just traded friendship bracelets with me.
Karlie: She gave me one that says Bad Blood lol.
Karlie: She’s not wrong!
Karlie: I gave her one that says Champagne Probz.
Karlie: You know, cause we’re rich.
Josh: 👍
7:01 PM
Karlie: What is hyme?
7:34 PM
Karlie: Who is Gail?
Karlie: Like Gail King?
8:06 PM
Karlie: It’s starting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:11 PM
Karlie: I KNEW IT.
Karlie: 1989 is the next re-record.
Karlie: She just announced it.
Karlie: Damn, those were the peak girl squad days.
Karlie: Probs the best years of my life.
Karlie: Until I met you of course 😻
Josh: 👍
Karlie: Do you think I should say hi after?
10:22 PM
Karlie: Babe.
Karlie: She’s playing New Year’s Day.
Karlie: EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S ABOUT ME.
Karlie: It’s MY laugh.
Karlie: This has to be a sign.
Karlie: They must have told her I was here.
Karlie: This is like, the ultimate Easter Egg.
Karlie: She’s basically BEGGING me to say hi.
11:09 PM
Karlie: So apparently she’s already been airlifted out of the stadium.
Karlie: I guess I’ll catch her next time.
11:14 PM
Karlie: God, a car is gonna be so expensive right now.
11:17 PM
Karlie: Is it totally cringe if I UberPool?
