June 5, 2013
Every betch is aware there's a lot of crazy news going on in the world right now, and by that we mean the Armenian-British conflict between the Kardashian and Middleton fetuses. Naturally we're more excited for this than the birth of our own children. Boys or girls? What will their names be? What will Scott Disick wear to the hospital?
While we wait for all this to go down we obviously will take the chance to talk shit about their pregnancies.
In this one we see that although it's early in the pregnancy, Kim wants to put American fears to rest that you can't dress like a slut while knocked up with your boyfriend's baby. Kate on the other hand, is practicing what we like to call 'dressing normal'.
Ah, winter maternity wear. While Kate supports the troops in some sort of cargo concoction, Kim supports her right to wear lace while there's a human being growing inside her.
Kate is perfecting a look we like to call 'so skinny that even fat women can't have my body at 5 months pregnant.' Meanwhile Kim is sporting a look that screams 'maybe if I wear a tight enough dress my goddamn baby will be so suffocated by my uterus that it will leave my body and I can be thin again.'
Here we see Kate looking about as likely to be pregnant as a Queen Elizabeth. We see Kim looking as likely to be pregnant as a very pregnant Hawaiian luau girl at a funeral.
Kim manages to be the only person in the world for whom black is not a slimming color. Kate: seriously bitch are you pregnant or not?
Kate proves you can still keep up your intense fitness regimen even if you're with child. Kim proves that if you eat the right way, your body can look as though there's a fully developed fetus that has enough room to play ping pong in your womb.