Kate Middleton Has Committed The Ultimate Hair Sin: Curtain Bangs

By Queen Elizabetch

There are four major kinds of bangs in this world, and unless you are in the true 1% of girls who can pull them off, you should never, under any circumstances - especially your senior class photo or your wedding - get them. Khloe Kardashian rocked the blunt cut bangs during early seasons of KUWTK, and Anne Hathaway forever ruined pixie cut bangs during the century of Les Mis bullshit. But the most familiar type of bangs are the side bangs you rocked for all of 8th grade.

In case you've purposefully blacked out the years of blow drying and clipping and straightening, just look at some bat mizvah pics for inspiration. If you have half of a brain cell, you made sure to delete your early Facebook profile pics of you with side bangs.

But the world's worst hair abomination is the curtain bangs. They're like side bangs, but for both sides of your face. They combine the two worst hits to your middle school self esteem: bangs and the middle part. Let's take a moment of silence for Kate's status as beauty icon.

So Kate Middleton decided, for some bizarre reason, that her perfectly blown-out hair was so 2014 and had a savage give her a new hairstyle. Who the fuck let this happen, I want names? Kate and Will were photographed on their way to church Sunday, because they're praying really fucking hard that her hair grows out quickly.





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