September 8, 2014
God save the Queen. Kate Middleton and Prince William are having a second baby!!! Have you stopped hyperventilating yet?
Quick recap on the Royal Family. Kate Middleton met Prince William when he was still hot and had all of his hair during college. Kate basically won the "MRS Degree" game. She wifed his ass real quick and spent the next 9 years being every betch's nemesis. But then they got married at this super casual ceremony. Westminster Abbey, ever heard of it?
Now everyone loves Kate because she's the only hot member of the Royal Family, except for the always fuckable Prince Harry. Anyways, last year Kate and Wills had the their first child, Prince George who already has a stage 5 resting betch face. Kate gained literally like half a pound during her pregnancy because her morning sickness basically made her ano, sorry Jessica Simpson?
Now Kate is pregnant again, so precious, and I cannot wait to see what phenomenal designer clothes she wears, how quickly her washboard abs reappear, and George's growing impatience with the peasantry. Congrats Kate and Will!! Love and best wishes from the GDI of countries and your favorite Revolutionary betches. Sidenote: I will bet money that Kanye and Kim announce she's pregnant in the next 48 hours.