October 3, 2014
Ever since Kate Winslet said the legendary "Draw me like one of your French girls" in Titanic, people have shipped Kate and Leo DiCaprio as Hollywood's golden couple. The borderline soul mates have never really pulled it together and finally Kate Winslet has given us a clue why: Leo said no.
"He's always seen me as one of the boys."
Translation: He friend zoned me day 2 of filming.
Being treated as the bro's bro is means that she has a great personality but is on her best day a 3. That would make Kate the first girl in the history of women to be friend zoned by a guy. It doesn't happen. If you have a vagina, it takes work to be friend zoned. I'm also confused by this because Kate was the OG curvy gorgeous actress. Like without her Hollywood would think Kate Upton and Kim Kardashian are obese. Are Leo's standards so high that he saw Kate naked and said nah?? Like, I get that he's sexy as hell and all, but the man rocks a bun half the time. I don't think he's really that far out of Kate's league.
"He's 40 this year and I'm 40 next...He wouldn't have a joint party with me. He really wouldn't...But also I don't think I'd want to have a joint party with him."
Way to try and save your dignity by tacking on that last part Kate. Leo wants to invite super models and women half his age, not you and your gross husband Nick Rocknroll (story true: he got stoned and legally changed his name from Smith to that). Leo doesn't want anyone including himself to remember his 40th birthday party, but you can't drink since you're still breastfeeding your third child. On the other hand, Kate Winslet is such a MILF and Leo is dangerously close to Creepy Uncle status.
This relationship is more complicated than trying to understand the incest between a sorority and fraternity. Also, just to make you feel old, Titanic and high school seniors in the class of 2015 are the same age.