Katniss Everdeen: Betch Of The Week

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

This week’s Betch of the Week has a terribly unfortunate name, but she makes up for it by being a total fucking badass. No, it’s not a celeb baby, it’s Katniss Everdeen.

If you weren’t seeing Mockingjay this weekend, then tbh I don’t know what you were doing since the weather was complete shit anyway. At least, it was where I live and I’m the center of the universe sooo…

I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum but no promises here. First off, Katniss killed the box office this week so this betch is obv in high demand. I mean if you don’t have millions of people lining up and spending tons of money just to see you, are you even a betch?

Katniss is a badass betch that you don’t want to mess with…mostly because she kills people but also because she’s not particularly likeable. We all have that one BSCB in our friend group who’s really scary if you’re on her bad side, but fiercely loyal for the people she’s close to? Yeah, well in this case the people on her bad side include President Snow and the rest of the Capitol…but it’s casual.

Also, just like every betch, Katniss has a propensity for doing stupid shit. Go out into the field with no training? Sure, why not? Run towards the hospital that’s about to get blown up? Lolz, typical Katniss. 

She’s also got two out of the three of the hottest guys in the series fighting over her. It could have had the potential to be beyond annoying and hormonal à la Twilight but thankfully Katniss is not a DD and realizes she actually has more important shit to do (like be the face of the revolution) than whine over which guy she should choose (Gale, obv).

Let’s take a look at some of Katniss’s betchy quotes (and no, I haven’t read the book yet so get off my back, commenters):

“You will rescue Peeta at the earliest opportunity, or you will find a new Mockingjay.” Katniss, laying down the fucking law.

Fire is catching. And if we burn, you burn with us!” The fact that Katniss supposedly improved those lines rather than the shitty ones Effie and Phillip Seymour Hoffman gave her is truly impressive. She’s a betch and a scholar.

“You went back for the cat?” Probably the only funny moment in the entire movie, courtesy of our betch Katniss. And Prim for being an idiot.

Even though Katniss doesn't kill anyone in Part 1 ( they're basically just setting the stage for all the shit to hit the fan in part 2), she handles everything thrown her way like the true bad ass betch she is, except for the one time she cried in public. But when I Googled the release date of Mockingjay Part 2 and found out I’m going to have to wait another fucking year for it to come out, I almost cried in public too.




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