February 6, 2015
So Katy Perry is like super pissed that the American public loved her fuckup dancing shark (otherwise known as Left Shark, Lefty for short if I had my way) more than her actual halftime show. Obv Left Shark’s adorably incompetent dance moves broke the internet (sorry Kim, do less) and has inspired tons of memes. But at least one person has tried to profit off of Left Shark’s sensation by 3D printing Left Shark figurines, and Katy Perry caught wind of it and officially sent him a cease and desist letter. You mad bro?
Katy was like, “You can’t make money off of Left Shark, I like created him, you know?” Umm, actually Katy if it wasn’t for Left Shark’s own inability to remember choreography, he would be nothing so don’t give yourself credit for his moment of genius/ineptitude.
In related news, Taylor Swift is coming after some Etsy shops who are daring to sell merch with her lyrics on them, because Taylor was totally the first person ever to say “This sick beat.” Like, you guys already have so much money, is it worth going after a couple of hipsters who are probably living in an apartment the size of your nightstand? Maybe Katy and Taylor should end their feud and become one fun-stealing super duo, because those two are a lot more alike than they think.