For the past ten years, Khloe has trailed behind her sister Kim like the sad wake left behind by a beautiful yacht. Khloe’s sad trajectory can probably be traced all the way back to Kim’s infamous sex tape. Khloe is now apparently determined to catch up to her sister, because she revealed in an interview with Andy Cohen that she and Lamar made a sex tape. We’re pretty sure the tape isn’t new, mainly because Lamar has been in critical condition for the last few months, but either way it’s unlikely that we’ll get to see it. Khloe says that she keeps the tape locked in her safe, and we’re pretty scared to see what else might be in there.
This whole thing makes us think of one of the best episodes of KUWTK, when Khloe decides that she wants to make a “sexy video” for Lamar while he’s out of town. This leads to Khloe sitting in a bathtub filled with gumballs, all being filmed by Malika. Spoiler alert: Rob finds the video and ends up watching it. That’s all you need to know.