A few days ago, the queen of Snapchat Kim Kardashian told the world via Kendall’s app (lol k) that she took six-fucking-thousand selfies during a four-day vacay in Mexico. Jesus Christ, really? This chick is the definition of no chill. I know the who, what, where and when, but the why and how remain big fucking question marks. In fact, the why might always be a mystery, but I’m going to do my darndest to break down the how.
This four-day selfie marathon of a vacation totals out at 96 hours. Go ahead subtract 32 hours for sleeping. I’m sure if she could, Kim would take selfies while snoozing, but I don’t think she’s figured out how to do that yet or she’d probs have hit 10,000 selfies this trip. Once she’s awake, it’s time to get ready because despite what she’d like us all to believe, that’s not what she actually looks like. I’m gonna guess about 5 hours of getting ready a day so now we’re at 44 hours. Damn, that shit whittled down quickly. So is 44 hours enough for 6,000 selfies? Time for some more math, you nerdy betches.
Even if you aren’t posting to Snapchat, everyone knows you take the photo in Snapchat and just save it to your phone. That’s just like, the rules of feminism. Why must you do this? The filters. Fucking duh. Picking a filter takes at least 10 seconds. Tbh, it was probs the yellow butterfly crown for 90% of them because that’s like, the only one she uses, but that’s beside the point. Once Kim picked the perfect filter she had to decide on a pose and/or expression. Is it a sexy selfie? Most likely. Was she feeling goofy? Doubt it. Let’s say every time she did this it took 8 seconds. I’m being VERY generous here.
Finally, it’s time for the actual picture. I just did it (for scientific research purposes, obv) and pushing the button took only 1 second. Because the world is seeing this photo and not just your little and your mom, deciding whether or not to keep it takes Kim roughly 6 seconds. There’s a lot on the fucking line here. I’m going to guess that 4,000 of the selfies were deleted because they weren’t up to par. We’ll add another 1 second to get rid of each of those, and 3 seconds to send off the 2,000 that were kept. And that’s all!
So was it even possible? Yep! She even had a whole 33 minutes to spare to actually enjoy her vacation. Now I’m going to pour myself some form of hard liquor because I haven’t done that much math since high school, and I’m fucking exhausted. It should only take me about 34 seconds to finish it.