A Scientific Analysis Of Kim Kardashian's Return To Instagram

After a three month absence Kim Kardashian returned to Instagram, so she's just like every girl who did a social media cleanse during her semester abroad. As thrilled as I am to have Keeks back online, this isn't her best work. First of all, there's no cleavage and her ass is hidden by an oversized white T-shirt. Is it really a Kim K Insta if at least 89% of her skin isn't showing??

Second, she doesn't thank her glam squad, so god only knows what makeup look she went with for the event. It looks like she still has the ass-length hair extensions she was wearing at Kris Jenner's Krismass Party, but something tells me it's not a Kylie Hair Kouture wig. Third, this almost seems like a candid photo considering her pose. The last time Kim took a truly candid image was her sex tape with Ray-J.

She captioned the photo "family," which is pretty dull. Like, it would've taken her two minutes to ask Kanye for a lyric, but maybe she was busy adjusting to the updated Instagram software. They're all wearing white outfits, but I don't think it counts as coordinated if they're not custom Balmain x Yeezy. Based on Kanye's outfit, Yeezy Szn 5 is a collection for dads coming home from the weekly softball game. #fashun

North West, like in every other photo, has that look in her eye as if she's planning her exit strategy. She's holding Saint's hand as if she's already called the Uber and is ready to escape Calabasas.

So in short, Kim KW-lite is back on Insta and North needs your prayers.

 

family

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on




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