January 21, 2015
Kim Kardashian released the cover of her selfie book, and it's just as self centered as you thought it would be. It looks like she doesn't have any shoulders and that her boobs are going to attack you. Also she's wearing yellow eyeshadow. She captioned the pic by calling the book "intimate and artistic," which is exactly how she described her sex tape.
Kim released a video of 13 year old Kanye reading a poem about Martin Luther King Jr. Besides the fact that this is a classic "my biggest regret in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live" Kanye moment, the poem is kinda good. It's definitely no My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, but it's better than shitty spoken word poetry at any liberal arts college.
Kanye designed a "furkini," which is a bikini made of fur, for Kim to wear in the snow, because why not. It kind of looks like a horrific porn movie based on cave women meeting the PlayBoy bunnies. Classic Kanye being a fucking weirdo and Kim being an attention whore - what a dynamic duo. We can only hope that North has a matching one.