August 20, 2015
Kristen Stewart has the world's most chronic resting betch face and is the queen of biting her bottom lip while talking, she also is the world's most passive aggressive ex.
Throwback to 2012 when Kristen was still dating Robert Pattinson as a real life Bella and Edward situation. They held hands while boarding private planes and filled interviews with private jokes, it was the best of times it was the worst of times. Then Kristen hooked up with her fugly Snow White and the Huntsman director, so Rob left her - tbh I would've left her in 2009 after she wore the world's worst wig in Twilight.
Well, this week was the premiere for Kristen's new movie American Ultra, which is about Jesse Eisenberg, her bf, being a stoner secret agent - aka get high and go see this movie. Anyway, she wore a gorgeous Zuhair Murad romper and Kim Kardashian level contouring. She also brought Jacob Black aka Taylor Lautner as her date.
Taylor hasn't done much since the Twilight days - apparently there aren't many movies where the main character spends the majority of the movie shirtless and speaks 10 words. Taylor's haircut and facial hair are sexy as hell, mostly because they make him look less like a llama. They looked absolutely beautiful together, truly relationship goals.
But the whole thing is the ultimate sub tweet at Robert Pattinson. Like if life was an Intagram, the caption would've just been @robpattinson. Not only is everyone now Team Jacob, but it's reopened the wounds from the Robsten break up. It's the Hollywood version of hooking up with your ex's best friend. Rob may be with FKA Twigs now, but Kristen just won the ex-wars. Well done Kristen, this is the way to passive aggressively fuck with your ex..