Lavender Cookies For Your Adult Tea Party

By Betchy Crocker

Sometimes, well, always, we want to seem super sophisticated and classy because we fucking are. Sadly, inviting a bunch of betches over and serving warm Natty Lite and cheese doesn’t exactly scream RITZ. Thank God for fancy cookies and alcoholic tea.

That’s right friends – you can throw a classy tea party where you make fun of people while daintily nibbling your cookies and sipping your tea. We amended this recipe from Food and Wine magazine, because if anyone knows how to throw a fancy fucking party, it’s them.


  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 2 tsps dried lavender blossoms, chopped
  • 2 tsps lemon zest, finely grated
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, softened
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • Pinch of salt

Grab a medium-sized bowl and mix the sugar with the lavender and lemon zest. Using an electric mixer, beat in the butter at medium speed. Lower the speed to, well, low, then beat in the flour and salt until you have sort of a soft dough.

Move the dough to a sheet of wax paper and toss in the fridge for 25 minutes. Then, form the dough into a 4-inch log and chill for at least another 45 mins to an hour.

Preheat the oven to 350. Remove the dough from the fridge and slice into 1/4-inch thick rounds – placing the rounds on an ungreased baking sheet. We know this part is weird, but place the baking sheets with rounds in the freezer for 5-10 minutes; this way the butter will harden up a little within the cookies. Then, fucking finally, bake the cookies for 20-25 minutes or until the edges are lightly browned.

Goddamn, you’re fancy.





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