August 5, 2015
Forget one in a million; Agnes Fenton is literally 1 in 10 million. Of all the people in the world, there are only about 600 people that are 110 years old or older and she just turned 110 on Saturday. So that’s amazeballs all by itself.
The real kicker here is what her trick to a long life has been. Quinoa, nope, kale, nope. Fucking Miller High Lifes and Jonnie Walker. For 70 years she had 3 Miller High Lifes and a shot of Jonnie Walker every fucking day. So apparently, all the frat guys from Syracuse are going to live forever. God help us.
But what surprises me most about this story is that her doctor “prescribed” her this level of alcohol consumption decades ago after she had a benign tumor. So I guess back in the day, instead of telling us that we are all obese, doctors told ladies from New Jersey to drink plenty of High Lifes if they wanted a long life. Those really must have been the days, good for you Agnes..