November 14, 2014
Lorde did a cover version of "Don't Tell 'Em" by Jeremih aka what was playing when you pretended you were Amber Rose at a club. At first, I was hype for this song because who doesn't love an acoustic version of super dirty rap songs (see Dan Henig's "Get Low" cover)?? But Lorde basically just weirdly slows it down and makes it more electronic - how the fuck is that even possible? Maybe Paris Hilton was dj-ing. Anyways, Lorde also doesn't sing it any differently than Jeremih does. This isn't even a cover, it's fucking sober karaoke - the absolute worst.
Then there's the "dancing." It's obvious pretty immediately by the white girl dance moves and the attempts at being "urban" that Lorde and Taylor Swift are besties. This four minute video has a built in drinking game: drink every time it almost looks like she's going to throw up the West Side hand sign and every time you think she might be having a seizure. If you're pre-gaming for something, drink every time you feel second hand embarrassment read: waterfall.