August 21, 2015
Madonna turned 57 this past week, and her birthday party was *shocker* not that classy. The party, which was at her house in the Hamptons, was gypsy themed, which I’m pretty sure is offensive. Madge rolled up in a vintage “gypsy wagon,” and everyone was dancing in a “tent filled with bales of hay.” Basically this party sounds like hell. Madonna’s kids gave her a French bulldog, which she also named Gypsy. Idk why Madonna is so obsessed with gypsies, but I guess it’s better than being obsessed with 22 year old men.
Late in the night, the cops showed up because of a noise complaint, because Madonna is famous for following the rules. A bunch of famous people were there including Andy Cohen, and we’re really hoping he caught all the drama on a hidden camera or something. Madonna is probably already planning a wilder, trashier party for her 58th birthday, so stay tuned for next year.