Cops Called After Man Freaks The Fuck Out Over a Spider In His Apartment

By Queen Elizabetch

If you're over 16 years old and still refuse to kill bugs in your apartment because they're living creatures, then go read PETA's blog, because that shit is gross. Seriously, part of the reason women live with men is so that there's always someone around to kill spiders.

Well, some bro in Australia lost his shit when there was a spider in his house. He called the police, who thought that they heard a woman screaming and crying while a man shouted "I'm going to kill you, you're dead! Die Die!!" Obvi the police rolled thru ASAP because, like, Ray Rice. When they got to the house the following conversation happened, IRL.

Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?
Man: It was a spider, a really big one!
Police: What about the woman screaming?
Man: Yeah, sorry, that was me, I really, really hate spiders.

The police then laughed at him for approx 8 hours and left. As much as I want to make fun of this guy, I cried until my brother came over to my apartment and killed a centipede in my shower. But like no matter how shitty your day is going, at least the police didn't think your spider freak out was a case of domestic violence. 




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