November 6, 2014
Some talk show host in Florida who sort of looks like Mr. Clean just set the record for most expensive Starbucks drink, with an $83.75 latte. The competition for most expensive drink ever ordered is an insignificant record that apparently matters to some people, kind of like GPAs.
Here’s a breakdown of his drink:
1 grande latte: 3.65
99 shots of espresso: 77.60
17 pumps vanilla syrup: .50
Matcha Powder: .80
Inevitable Diabetes: Priceless
There are so many problems with this, I’m not even sure where to start. First of all, fuck this guy. Seriously. You know how he paid for his drink? He didn’t. Mr. Clean is a gold card member, and got his 99 shot latte for free. Betches are all about getting free shit, but not when it comes with 800 calories attached to it. It was nice of barista to not charge for the 3 shots worth of spit that definitely ended up in the bottom of his drink. Also, who designed the Starbucks menu so that you can swindle them out of half a bottle of vanilla syrup for 50 cents? My half-assed business minor could have created a better system than that.
Secondly, I’m pretty sure breve is latin for cellulite. A breve latte? Really? Why don’t you just pour your 99 shots of espresso over a garbage can full of ice cream you sick fuck. Pouring powdered green tea shit into isn't fooling anyone.
Mr. Clean then proceeded to tweet out pictures of himself with his monstrosity of a beverage, which just look like mugshots feat. one giant coffee cup. He didn’t even filter them, rookie mistake.
The most atrocious part of this already pretty awful story? He could have bought 28 venti iced coffees with the amount he “spent" on his coffee. What a fucking waste.
I guess he beat the guy below...