Marion Cotillard Is Not Becky With The Good Hair

By Queen Elizabetch

So we're all assuming that Brad Pitt had an affair with Marion Cotillard while they were filming their new movie Allied, because there's nothing more ironic than a man having an affair while married to the woman he had an affair with while married to his first wife. Well, Marion responded to the absolute shit show that is Brangelina's divorce announcement, but just lit the fire even more.

She posted an Insta that looks like something you made using KidPix during middle school computer class. The pic includes a solo bird, which seems like a metaphor for Brad flying away from his wife and 6 children toward adultery. She then wrote a novel about how she is not Brangelina's Becky with the Good Hair.


This is going to be my first and only reaction to the whirlwind news that broke 24 hours ago and that I was swept up into. I am not used to commenting on things like this nor taking them seriously but as this situation is spiraling and affecting people I love, I have to speak up. Firstly, many years ago, I met the man of my life, father of our son and of the baby we are expecting. He is my love, my best friend, the only one that I need. Secondly to those who have indicated that I am devastated, I am very well thank you. This crafted conversation isn't distressing. And to all the media and the haters who are quick to pass judgment, I sincerely wish you a swift recovery. Finally, I do very much wish that Angelina and Brad, both whom I deeply respect, will find peace in this very tumultuous moment. With all my love Marion Ceci sera la première et seule réaction que j'aurai concernant la déferlante inouïe qui à commencé il y a de ça 24 heures et à laquelle je suis mêlée malgré moi. Je n'ai pas pour habitude de commenter ni de prendre au sérieux le tas d'absurdités déversées à mon sujet mais la situation prenant une telle tournure et affectant des gens que j'aime, je me dois de m'exprimer. Pour commencer, j'ai rencontré il y a quelques années l'homme de ma vie , le père de notre fils et du bébé que nous attendons aujourd'hui. Il est mon amour, mon meilleur ami et le seul homme dont j'ai besoin. Ensuite, à ceux qui me prétendent dévastée, je vais très bien merci. Ce genre d'inventions aberrantes ne m'affecte en aucun cas. Et pour finir, à la "presse", à tous les haters, trolls et consorts qui ont le jugement si rapide je vous souhaite sincèrement... un prompt rétablissement. Ceci dit et un peu plus sérieusement, je souhaite à Angelina et Brad, deux personnes pour qui j'ai un profond respect, de trouver la paix dans ce moment tumultueux. Avec tout mon amour. Marion

A photo posted by @marioncotillard on


Her caption denies the accusations, declares her love for her partner/boyfriend/baby daddy, and announces that she is pregnant. So there we have it, I guess. Brad did not cheat on Angelina with her less hot counterpart. One theory down, many more to go.




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