This Wedding Ring Is Perfect For Paranoid Psychopaths

It’s like, the first rule of feminism to trust no fuckboy, but there’s a difference between having a healthy sense of paranoia and literally branding your hubby’s marital status into his skin. For psychopaths with no sense of boundaries, there’s an anti-cheating wedding ring that does exactly that, because I guess chastity belts are frowned upon these days.

WTF

Here’s the idea, according to Refinery 29:

“A jeweler called Jason of Beverly Hills has designed a wedding ring embossed with the word ‘married’ on the inside, so that when you take it off, the word stays imprinted on your finger.”

I don’t even know where to begin with how fucked up this is. Yes, some people (not just dudes) take off their wedding rings so they can hide their cheating, douchebag ways from the people they hit on. But if you’re suspicious that your partner might cheat on you, what are you doing with them in the first place? There are two options here. 1) You’re putting up with a cheater because you have no self-esteem, in which case you should dump their ass and crowdfund a post-breakup solo trip through Europe. 2) They’re putting up with your paranoia because they have no self-esteem, and you could both use some therapy.

You Need Help

When Refinery 29 asked for comment, the company apparently responded, “Jason [Arasheben, the CEO] would like to think the design of the ring contributes to successful marriages. The ring is a symbol of a union between two people who love each other and should be viewed as that.”

Can someone please explain to me how branding “MARRIED” on your partner’s finger contributes to “successful marriages”? I think we can all agree it’s not a symbol of a romantic union, it’s a symbol of a lack of trust at best and sheer craziness at worst. Plus, as an anti-cheating tool, it’s super ineffective—cheaters can totally just take off the ring a few hours (minutes?) before and wait for the mark to fade. It's not rocket science.

Duh

The company claimed that the jeweler got the idea from his wife, who “wished the [wedding] ring would leave a mark on him if he was going to keep taking it off.” Aka a lesson in not letting your psychopath spouse have any say in your business decisions.

Basically, if you’re going to get a body modification in the name of true love (vom), just jump on the matching tattoo bandwagon like everyone else.




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