August 28, 2015
I'm in a totally fucked up situation right now. I'm 23 and married to my husband (25) for 5 years; the fuck?yes I got married at 18. I was in love. This was the guy that got me to settle down. I put all the bros aside for this one. He was perfect. Until he wasn't. Not only did we separate for the first time ever for 3 months because "he loved me but wasn't in love with me", but I worked hard for us to get back together so idk what my problem is now that we've been "on" again for about 6 months.
I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm in a comfortable relationship (see? I didn't even put marriage) where we pay halfsies so I feel like separating would really suck financially;plus we just got a car. I started working at a bank about 2 months ago, and I am sorry/not sorry to say that after a month, I started clicking with my boss (28). He's funny, fine as hell and extremely ambitious just like me. Needless to say, we have great personal convos as well as even greater sex. I should mention that he has a 5 year old son with some girl he won't leave because then he wouldn't see his son as often. They're actually not very nice to each other.
I'm not saying me and my boss will start a relationship cause that's not gonna happen right now/if ever, I'm not delusional. So between my boss and meeting all these new people who want to do more in life has made me look at my husband as less of a man. He bitches about his job but does nothing about it, while I am in love with my job and want to pursue a full on career and go into private wealth. I'm being shallow cause I'm not attracted to him at all, and hes not even 5'10 for fucks sake. But I was happy before. What now? I don't wanna have sex with him, he easily annoys me, and I feel like a major bitch, but he's like, my friend tho.
Before I get into this, a few questions (I expect answers in the comments):
1. How do you even get an 18-year-old to settle down, when you're only 20? Who is this guy, and why did he decide he'd had enough of life already at the ripe old age of 20 and wanted to settle down?
2. How many bros were you REALLY putting aside before you even became a legal adult? Like, come on.
3. Are you Daria's friend from the instagram meme who says "of course you should divorce him, he's short"?
First, I want to express my genuine sympathies at your situation. We all do dumb shit when we're 18 (like, I had a wardrobe consisting mostly of graphic T's) but most of us don't have to spend the rest of their lives living with (and only fucking) that dumb-ass teenage choice. So like, I feel for you. Your situation is pretty fucked up.
But I mean as much as Lifetime movies have shown that it sucks to be stuck in a loveless marriage, you didn't exactly do yourself any favors, what with the whole "having an affair with your boss who has a kid and oh also is still with his baby mama" thing. At least you're not so delusional that you think you have a future with him, so you have that going for you/not working against you, I guess.
I think first you should consider taking a vacation. Get out of south Georgia, experience what life is like in other parts of the world where the majority of people you interact with aren't married and/or with kids by their early twenties. Gain some perspective, ya know? Cause you're pretty fucking all over the place. One minute you hate seeing your husband's face, one minute he's your friend, one minute he's practically a midget...IDFK.
Given how bleak your letter sounds though, it sounds like it's time to start gearing up for the divorce. Make a list of the shit that's yours and the shit you want to keep. Get that car at all costs (if it's nice). Start putting some money away in a Swiss bank account. You know, get your ducks in a row.
What it comes down to, since you're more indecisive than Kylie is with her hair color, is that you need to consider the rest of your life and if you want this scrub in it. Sounds like you don't, but really sit down and think about it. Maybe on a couch. Across the room from a licensed marriage counselor. Because I'm sure as hell not going to take the weight of your marriage on my shoulders. I don't get paid enough for that.
At least you don't have any kids,