Marshawn Lynch Is Here For The Wrong Reasons | Betches

Marshawn Lynch Is Here For The Wrong Reasons

By Queen Elizabetch

Marshawn Lynch plays football for the Seattle Seahawks and is your new spirit animal. The NFL required him to attend a press conference or pay a bunch of money, so he decided to answer every single question with "I'm just here so I won't get fined." This is my goal in life: be so fucking good at something that I can do whatever I want, and people on the Internet think I'm god's gift. This is the perfect response to questions from any family member: "Are you dating anyone?" "What are you thinking about doing after college?" "Why don't you come home more often?" or a professor or an ex or your frenemy, really whenever somebody asks you a stupid question: "I'm just here so I won't get fined."


Then the Skittles company gave him his weight in skittles to eat and he delivered another fantastic one liner: "I wouldn't want to hang out with anybody that talks." Who gives a shit about the Super Bowl, Marshawn has already won life.

 

 

Someone buy this shirt for him ASAP:




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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