March 13, 2015
Martha Stewart - lifestyle entrepreneur and bad-ass former inmate - is opening her own coffee shop in her New York office building. So now if you work for the Martha Stewart brand you can pay her to drink an overpriced latte. That being said, it's a brilliant business move. There are 11,000 people work in her office building, and there's no restaurant.
The menu is basically the Martha version of Starbucks - Americana, Cappuccino, Lattes, Espresso, artisanal teas (whatever the fuck that means), and her own special blends of Ice Coffee. I'd actually pay $5 for a medium iced coffee brewed from "Martha's Blend" - maybe I'd get special powers like making a court mandated ankle tracking device look like the perfect fall accessory. She'll also serve classic pastries, but give you side eye for eating 700 calories as a snack.
Gwyneth Paltrow hasn't responded to Martha's latest business move, but considering she's almost always one step behind (see: Conscious Coupling), we can assume she'll announce her Bubble Tea Cafe next week.