November 26, 2014
One Direction was on The Today Show in Orlando last week promoting their new album, Four. To the extreme disappointment of every viewer with a functioning pair of eyes, Zayn had a stomach bug and couldn’t make it. Matt Lauer decided that line of reasoning was far too boring, and instead asked if Zayn's absence was due to some substance abuse issues. A lot of booing and death threats ensued, because apparently no one warned him about the wrath of One Direction fans. Obviously, Zayn denied the whole thing because he's not an idiot (or because he doesn't do drugs, whatever). Let's be real though, you aren't really famous until you're publicly accused of an addiction or two.
Honestly, I would develop a drug habit if it meant I never had to step foot in the state of Florida. But seriously, fuck Matt Lauer. Like, have you SEEN Zayn? He could be cooking meth in an orphanage and it wouldn’t matter, so long as his face remained unharmed. The kid looks like he was carved out of marble by fucking Michelangelo, so if he wants to do a little coke on his downtime from being a world famous singer, it’s probably none of Matt Lauer’s business.