May 20, 2015
A few thousand lucky assholes at Tulane University were undeservedly graced with the presence of the one and only Maya Rudolph this past Saturday. The Bridesmaid actress/SNL goddess gave the commencement speech for the graduating class of 2015, therefore raising the guest speaker bar to new unattainable heights. She has now joined the ranks of legendary graduation speakers like Ellen DeGeneres, Will Ferrell, Christian Grey, etc. What makes Maya’s speech unique, however, is the fact that she not only delivered a perfectly balanced, inspirational/hilarious speech but that she channeled both Oprah and Beyoncé while doing it.
We’re pretty sure that President Obama could have given us a personal shout out during our commencement and we’d still feel slighted knowing that we didn’t get to experience Maya Rudolph singing a 4-minute long Beyoncé tribute all while inspiring us to do great things once we graduate. Apparently Maya’s cousin was one of the graduates and her dad also graduated from Tulane, but still…it just isn’t fair. If I had gotten to shake the hand of an SNL legend right after receiving my diploma, I’d have fucking cured cancer by now.
Well, congrats Tulane Class of 2015. It’s all downhill from here.