Pumpkin Spice Fries Are The Latest In Pumpkin Flavored Shit We Never Asked For

By Lisa Vanderbetch

Over the past decade, fall has become the season of the pumpkin. Not like carving jack-o’-lanterns with weird faces and shit, but everything tasting like fucking pumpkin. The ball got rolling with the PSL, then came pumpkin cookies, pumpkin French toast, pumpkin cake. You name it, starting in September it comes in pumpkin. I blame Pinterest. But this year, we’ve really outdone ourselves with pumpkin flavored shit that sounds disgusting. Pumpkin pie potato chips are now a thing, so is pumpkin spice toothpaste. Can it get any worse? Yup. Japanese McDonald’s are releasing pumpkin spice fries. This is really getting out of hand.

If you’re like me, your first thought is "wtf is a pumpkin fry?" Is it made from pumpkin instead of potato? Does it just taste cinnamon-y? Well, neither. It’s just regular incredible McDonald’s fries with a chocolate and pumpkin drizzle. Okay, I’d be curious to try fries with a little chocolate sauce because sweet and salty is my shit. But pumpkin? That seems like it’d be real nasty. Can we all just fucking chill on the pumpkin shit for a sec? I know everyone is trying to profit on a fall-flavored treat the way Starbucks has, but no one, not even the most basic of betches, has asked for pumpkin spice french fries. So let’s just stop, shall we? Just go get your latte, bake yourself a pie and call it a day.

cut it out




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