May 7, 2013
While it's much easier to judge best and worst dressed at most awards shows and events, the Met Gala is in its own fashion judgement field. The theme last night was Punk: Chaos to Couture or Avril Lavine: If She Had Spent Her Fortune On Her Clothes Rather Than Her Skateboards and Collection of Choker Tattoo Necklaces. Yes, that's actually what Anna Wintour told us in an encrypted text convo the two of us shared while she was in her limo en route to the gala.
However, we're not really interested in discussing the celebrities who were dressed objectively well. The people we're dying to talk about are those who thought they were robing for the Year Eleven Formal: so randohhhhm.
Here are our thoughts on the celebs that could have been best or worst dressed, it honestly didn't matter.
While we admire the girl's dedication to #42 dressing like a slut, we do not condone using jizz instead of gel. This isn't a Simple Plan concert, no one's going to be a-dick-ted to you if you're walking around smelling like Liam's spunk.
Some people are saying that she looks like the upholstery of their grandma's divan and we totally agree. The only thing missing is a plastic covering and a cat headpiece and you're suddenly transported to Nana's house in Queens. But the best thing we've seen regarding Kim's Gala outfit is this picture:
Oh and Kanye was there too.
Grandma must be really pissed off because all these celebs are borrowing things from her house. MK's took her bathrobe while Ashley, that sneaky devil, borrowed Grandpa's creamsicle flavored XL condom.
Despite what you psychos will say (she's Madge, she can wear anything blah blah) we will have to disagree. You're old, why you gotta make things so complicated? It's one thing to make a statement but it's quite another to look like Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb. It rubs on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.
SJP like, really misses playing tenor sax at her high school marching band competitions.
CAF. Chic as fuck.
What's a Betches Love This post without a comment about Ban Hathaway? To be honest, she doesn't look so bad. She's not trying too hard, her blonde hair isn't hurting my eyes, and her dress is super slutty. The only thing that really pisses me off is that I LITERALLY JUST SAID THOSE THINGS. Where are my meds?
Did you guys get your makeup done at the MAC stand at Saks or by the Crazy Lady that feeds the pigeons near my apartment?
There's something about the fact that she looks like she just cleaned my dishes that makes her look totally chic.
(Anytime we mention Chloe, we must always share this video that our #52 gay bffs showed us)
We're fucking obsessed with this and Nicole Richie. As badgal put it, "this bitch makes me throw up!! #bestdressed." What this Mensa scholar meant was that Richie looked sick and we totes agree. Gray hair? Why not. Grandma-vogue was apparently in last night. Unlike some people like Kelly Osbourne whose name we won't mention, she absolutely pulls it off. The outfit, not her hip.
Capes are like, really in these days, I even wore one to get iced coffee this morning.
IDK. Mixed feelings. Something about this outfit screams, "I think I'm the queen." Maybe it's the crown. Like I said, IDK. But for some reason I can't stop imagining Katy going to the bathroom in this dress and like, crouching over a toilet, in her crown.
CONFIRMED: These are the sheets on which Katie and Tom consummated their marriage, chopped up. There is no word yet on whether Suri had anything to do with it.
Even though she irks us, Nicki Minaj's dress wasn't that bad. Best way to describe her dress is, "meh." It was her hair, however, that received a health inspection grade of a C on account of the roach and rat infestation later found by Gala Security.
Note: if there's anyone we failed to mention it's because we didn't really care to comment and/or wanted to hear your opinion in the comments. Not really, but whatever.