Michael Jordan Wins Lawsuit Against Steak Company

By The Wicked Betch of the West

The original king of betchy athletes is now even richer thanks to a lawsuit he won against a grocery store chain trying to peddle steaks by using his name. Michael Jordan was awarded $8.9 million from Chicago grocery chain Dominick’s after they used his name and his iconic “23” jersey in an ad for “Rancher’s Reserve Steak”.

Why haven’t you heard about this lawsuit? Probably because it was filed in 2009 and everyone forgot about it since then, except for Michael Jordan, of course. After winning the suit Jordan told reporters, “I’m so used to playing on a different court.”  OK Michael Jordan, how long did it take you to come up with that one?

He also said, “This shows I will protect my name to the fullest. … It’s my name and I worked hard for it … and I’m not just going to let someone take it." Which I guess is a pretty decent argument as to why you deserve $8.9 million from a company trying to congratulate you on your Hall of Fame induction and give the people of Chicago $2 off steaks at the same time.

He really could use the money, you know, because he only made $480 million from Nike alone from 2000 to 2012.

And because Michael Jordan is a smug betch who is used to #winning everything, he told reporters if people really wanted a Jordan steak they could go to his namesake steakhouse in Chicago.

He really is a cut above.





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