September 23, 2014
We always knew Microsoft was unbetchy after they rolled out countless failed software programs. Now this shit show of a company displayed a prototype called Vive at their Design Expo. Vive is a bracelet that monitors how drunk you are through measuring your body’s dehydration and intoxication levels.
Basically Vive is that annoying friend who always tells you that you’ve had too much to drink and should probably call it a night. She’s the fun sucker who’s just jealous your hair looks better than hers. Sorry your split ends can’t handle the humidity inside the bar.
There are some perks to this new accessory though like if you get lost in a giant mosh pit on the dance floor you can squeeze the bracelet, alerting your friends that you’re okay and not passed out face down in the bathroom. You just have to sync your Vive to your friends’ and it’s like there’s an invisible thread linking you and your besties. Definitely gives your fellow betches some peace of mind when they know you’re far too many shots deep by 11 PM.
TBH, this idea is nice and all, but unless these bracelets are designed by Tory Burch we don’t want anything to do with wearing a fugly bangle that totally clashes with our hot outfit.