Microwave Mug Cake For Your Secret Shame Eating

By Betchy Crocker

Can you seldom stomach the shame that comes with carrying an entire cake/gallon of ice cream/box of cookies out the door at the supermarket? Do you often crave said items as soon as the clock hits like, 7pm? Do you inhale entire cases of doughnuts the second alcohol enters your bloodstream?

Boy, do we have a fucking treat for you.

Grab a mug and make your own one-serving cake at home. You can only eat so much of it; it isn’t like, THAT bad (yeah, it is); and if you want more, your lazy ass has to make it again! LOL that’s so not happening when I’m drunk! We adapted this shit from How Sweet It Is, but we made it better because we added alcohol. sorrynotsorry.

selena gomez shrug


  • 3 tbsps. unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 ½ oz dark chocolate, chopped
  • 1 egg
  • 2 tbsps brown sugar
  • 1 tsp Kahlua
  • ¼ cup all purpose flour
  • 1/8 tsp baking powder
  • A pinch of salt
  • 2 tbsps unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 tbsp raspberry or strawberry preserves—whichever you prefer


Combine the butter and 1 ounce of the dark chocolate in a bowl and melt that shit in the microwave for like, 20 seconds. Grab another bowl and whisk together the egg, sugar, and Kahlua until that shit’s smoother than Fireball. Add in the flour, baking powder, salt, and cocoa and stir some more. Whisk in the butter/chocolate mixture then fold in the rest of your dark chocolate pieces.

Pour half of the chocolate mixture into your mug, pause, add the raspberry preserves, then add the rest of the chocolate mixture on top. Pop that shit in the microwave for 1 minute and 20 seconds to 2 mins (depends on how shitty or not shitty your microwave is).

Remove, don’t burn yourself, and feel free to drizzle extra melted chocolate on top. Or add on some fresh raspberries to feel healthy. Whatever. Eat and feel only secret shame.

Chocolate Cake




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